From the lanai

September got here faster than I thought, and my time in Kauai has been just what I'd hoped it would be -- shared with loved ones. I like to do that wherever I am, but feeling the sea breezes, watching the waves crash, and looking for sea turtles and dolphins adds a little extra magic to the shared time.

I'm so grateful that my mom joined us for part of our stay. We spent a lot of time looking for wildlife off the lanai. Rough life. She even snorkeled in the little bay -- Go Mom!

Moments after the kids arrived the second week, I was witness to Dear Heart's proposal to Darling Daughter! Down by the stone wall, they were far enough away that the words they exchanged were private (besides, who can hear over the crashing waves), but close enough that I got pictures. Yee haw!

Life is good -- certainly from the lanai, but really, from anywhere I am. I just try to remember to enjoy it each day. Hope you do, too!

Are we there yet?

Yes, hooray, I'm done with treatment! I had my last radiation session about a month ago. And it's been more than three months since chemo ended. So what's next? Life after treatment is life. Lunch or dinner with friends, phone calls to Mom, yardwork (I so want to call it gardening, but I just can't), house projects, work that pays the bills, movies -- all the good stuff.

When I had my lumps removed in January, as far as I'm concerned, the cancer was gone. All the rest that's followed is just insurance to make sure the cancer doesn't come back. Because the tumors are fueled by estrogen, I'm now taking an estrogen inhibitor (letrozole) -- it's a tiny pink pill that I take daily for potentially the next five years. So far, the side effects have been minimal, and I've got my order in to the powers that be that it stay that way. I'll be getting semi-annual mammograms and blood tests, and I expect the results to be normal because there's no reason to think otherwise. So it's back to our regularly scheduled programming, with a little more life experience under our belt.

I made another trip to the gym with my darling daughter, and I'm proud to report that I kicked ass! Half an hour on the elliptical with nary a word from the machine about resuming my workout. It was awesome!

The next big thing on the horizon is a two-week trip to Kauai in September with my family -- it's my reward for surviving treatment. My next post may be from the lanai....  aloha!

Summer!

Huzzah! The sunshine and warm weather are here! At least for today, and that's good enough for me -- for today anyway. I'm out on the deck, admiring all the lovely containers that have been planted and are blooming and growing. It's quiet, except for the boats on the lake and the Fleet Foxes blaring on the stereo, oh yeah, and all those birds chirping and cawing. It's all good.

32 treatments down, 3 to go. A month ago the end of all this business seemed like such a long way away, but here I am on the precipice of putting my cancer treatment in the past. And I'm ready.  So if you feel a special sigh of relief on Wednesday morning at around 9am, that'll be me saying ba-bye to the radiation machine.

My eyebrows and eyelashes fell out about 3 weeks ago, and my eyebrows have already grown back in -- like wow. If my hair was as vigorous a grower as my eyebrows seem to be, I'd have nothing to complain about. But the hair on my head is growing slow as molasses, and the eyelashes are taking their time too.  They say a watched pot never boils; I guess the same is true for hair. I scrutinize my pate every day, hoping - willing it to grow - but it's ignoring me. Oh well, another opportunity to practice patience. You'd think I would be getting better at this, but so far, no.

I've got an appointment with my oncologist on Thursday, so I'll find out what the follow-up plan is. And now, back to the sunshine -- all of you!

Long Time

I know it's been awhile. First, my mac was out of commission, and then... well, whatever.

I'm halfway through my radiation, 18 sessions down, 17 more to go. I'm really looking forward to the day when I can pop in the car and head straight to work instead of stopping off at the cancer institute for my daily dose. And that day will be June 30. Oh, except that I have an appt. with my oncologist on the 30th, so let's say July 1 for putting this all behind me (June has 30 days, right? I never learned that poem.)

As for the radiation, it's a 15 minute appointment, and most of that time is spent changing clothes. When I go in for my treatment it takes about as much time to get me properly aligned as it does for the radiation. About the time I'm ready to drop off for a nap on the table, it's time to get up because it's over. So far, the side effects have been quite tolerable. A bit of a burned feeling by the end of the week, but having the weekend off gives my skin a little time to recuperate. Of course, I'm writing this on a Monday -- let's see what kind of song I'm singing come Friday.

Exercise is important throughout this treatment process, but finding the energy to do it is a real challenge. And when the doctors say exercise, they don't mean triathlon training, they mean getting out for a walk. I manage to get some exercise 2-3 times a week (ok, that's on a good week), but what I used to call a workout, and what I'm doing these days for exercise are worlds apart. Since I've been feeling pretty good, I thought I'd go to the gym this weekend with my girl. I haven't been to the gym in months and months, and I was looking forward to getting in a good workout. I spent a half hour on the elliptical machine, and I swear it was trying to shame me into working harder. It kept telling me to resume my workout -- while I was working out! I guess it pauses if your speed is too low. Ouch. That was a tad humiliating. I guess it's only up from here.

Hair update: yes, it's starting to sprout.  No news yet on the quantity or quality, but it's coming in, maybe an eighth of an inch.

And finally, the year of the yard is taking shape. Dear Heart is spearheading the effort and is making headway. Boulders have been moved, paths laid, gravel shoveled and compacted -- it's a glorious work in progress, and I couldn't be more pleased.

Next Up

Goodbye chemo, hello radiation!

In celebration of the end of chemo, I had my port-a-catheter (not-so-fondly referred to as Igor because he was a pain in my neck who sometimes made me hunch my shoulders) removed from my chest Friday morning. This event was spurred on by the fact that on Wednesday, part of my neck went numb, starting from about where Igor's tube hooked into the vein in my neck up to my chin. Weird. 

I had a hard time believing that removing the likes of Igor is an  in-office procedure. But it is. The doc numbs up the port area on your chest, slices open the spot where she installed it, then yanks out the port along with the catheter tube in your neck and sends you on your way within half an hour with a few stitches in your chest. Seriously. I was in the office at 8 and out by 8:30.  After all the pain and suffering endured from Igor's installation, his removal was a piece of cake, relatively speaking. Good riddance Igor, you did your job and I'm grateful for that, but I'm so glad we've parted ways. So so glad. Even if my neck is still numb.

I met my radiologist on Thursday (another great doc at the Swedish Cancer Institute)  and had my radiation planning session on Friday, after Igor's removal -- Friday was a busy day. After being measured and tattooed at the planning appointment (all I had to do was lie on the table while the techs figured things out -- it was a nice break in the day), I scheduled my 33 radiation appointments and am all set for the next adventure. My dry-run happens on Tuesday when they check to make sure that all will go as planned for the radiation treatments, then Wednesday, the fun begins. Radiation five days a week for the next six and a half weeks. Expected side effects: fatigue and skin burn. I hope that both will be minimal. I'll be wrapping up treatment by the end of June and will be ready for a little fun in the sun. Please please please weather gods, can we have a sunny summer this year!

Happy Day!

Today is the anniversary of my most life-changing event, the birth of my first child. In celebration of May 3 1986, this one’s for you, my girl. You mean the world to me, and these are just a few of the reasons why:

• You made me the one thing I wanted most in life, to be a mom.
• You were the cutest baby in the nursery – I know there is plenty of competition for this title, but you really are the winner.
• You were such a good baby, you made me feel like I had the whole motherhood thing down. Thank you for that! The feeling lasted until your brother was born.
• You loved American Girl dolls, which meant that I got to love them too.
• You coaxed and coached your brother to perform with you an impromptu rendition of Romeo and Juliet for Dad and me on our 13th wedding anniversary.
• You make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies.
• Though your longshoreman’s vocabulary mortified me, your crew career always made me proud.
• You are always on time.
• You believe in the 7 Ps. 
• You are fiercely independent.
• You can be tender-hearted and tough as nails.
• You have hair that I envy.
• You love to sing – loud and proud.
• You have the Wilson pet thing going on – in spades!
• Your birthday always reminds me of springtime and sunshine and lilacs.
• You love to ski.
• You let me help you move into all of your college apartments.
• You shop with me.
• You love love love college football.
• You are loyal and thoughtful and smart and funny.
• You are the best travel companion – cross-state, cross-country, cross-Europe – I’d go anywhere with you.
• You cry at good-byes.
• When you studied athletic training, you always answered our sports injury and rehab questions.
• Now that you’re a nurse, you always answer our health-related questions.
• You come to chemo sessions and doctor visits and remind me how best to take care of myself.
• You offered to cut off your hair to make a wig for me.

Somewhere along the line, I must have done something right to have been blessed with you as my daughter. Happy Birthday, My Girl! Love you big time!

Last Round!

I knew this day would come, and huzzah! Here it is. Last day in the chemo chair. I don't want to jinx myself, but the day is going pretty smoothly. Blood work came back good. Chemo got started on time. We may be out of here in the three hours originally promised -- we'll see.

The last couple of weeks have been rough. I mentioned last time that I was allergic to the anitbiotic I took for my fever. The hives got so bad that I saw the doc that Tuesday and was prescribed a steroid combo drug that finally brought relief to the swelling and itching. Then I had horrible hay fever kick in. Oh my friends, if you're a hay fever sufferer, I understand now why the sufferer label is attached to the condition. Runny eyes, water faucet nose, achy teeth, achy nose. Awful! I've never had hay fever before and I hope I never have it again. I had finally started to feel somewhat good on Sunday, but then the bridge of my nose was tender and started to swell up. And it kept swelling so that by Tuesday, another trip to the doc was in order. They were stumped. I don't know, another allergy or something? We all decided to wait and see if it would resolve on its own, and thank heaven it did. I'm no longer taking ibuprofen, in case I've developed a sensitivity to it. Don't know if this is a permanent off the list med (I do love my vitamin I!), but I guess I'll see. My biggest concern was that I might not get my last chemo today, but here I am! And we're almost done with the pre-meds (hooray anti-nausea medication!) and ready to start on the money drugs (chemo).

Besides all this medical stuff, I've been happily distracted by work the last two weeks. Lots and lots of work to do, and I've had the energy to put in a few long days, so I feel like I'm on top of things, which is a pretty terrific feeling in the midst of all this hubbub.

Last weekend, dear heart and I went shopping for containers and plants for the deck and found some pretty fun specimens. Dear heart is not one to let moss grow underfoot, so the containers have been planted and look terrific! This is the year of the yard, and I am so looking forward to making some progress in this area. Then the landscape architect who lives here won't be embarrased to say so.  :)

To balance out all this goodness, my macbook display died, which is a total bummer. (Thanks, dear heart, for the loan of your laptop to write this post from the chemo chair!) One of the advantages of working at a software company is that I have friends who know how to fix computers, and one wicked smart one is going to take my mac apart this weekend and see what's what. Thank you, Mister D!

I'll post an update on the effects of this round of chemo if there's anything worth mentioning. Fingers crossed it will be an unenventful week. Next on the horizon for me is radiation. I've got an appointment to meet my radiologist on May 2. You can bet you'll hear all about my time on the tanning bed! 

Looking forward to some sunshine this afternoon and tomorrow -- hope the sun is shining where you are!